Sunday

"It's moments like this that make this place more than a school."

Homecoming Week

Just riding the high of a great, great week at SJP. 

Here are some highlights: 

• Girl's soccer qualified for states with a 5-0 shut out against Pope John
• My advisory successfully dressed up as Greek Gods and wore sheets vaguely shaped into togas
• Pep rally was great!
• Obviously saving the most exciting for last - the boys football team won their first game!

I'm leaving this week so proud of my students and so humbled at the opportunity to be a part of their lives. 

Because I analyze nearly everything, this week has made me reflect on a lot of things - mainly, how I feel about life and place and my reactions. 

I realized a few things. 

1. I am competitive and protective of my students. 

I'm not a huge sports fan, and not a diehard follower of many teams. I don't yell at the TV or attend many live games. I enjoy them - just not always at the top of my life. However, I attend countless SJP games, mostly our soccer games at the moment. I get WAY too invested in these games, for better or for worse. It makes me crazy when opposing players insult our kids or when their coach implies they've done anything wrong. 

I sat on the sidelines of a boys soccer game this or last week and happened to be near some parents of players on the opposing team. They were accusing one of our seniors of cheating and our kids of playing dirty - I had to actually turn away... for fear I was shooting eye-daggers at them (I don't hide disdain well). 

2. I need to pray for my students more. 

It's become clear to me recently that several of my students live complicated, challenging lives. I guess we all do. I've had several serious conversations about friend's choices, difficult parents, worries about not being "good enough" for any number of reasons. I also know that high school students have a lot of important choices to make and are put in a lot of situations where they have to make big decisions in the blink of an eye. I need to do less freaking out about their safety and more praying for their care. I've known some of these kids for 3 years now and I feel pretty invested in their lives, so I want to be sure I'm doing the best for them I can. To me this involves challenging them to be the best versions of their selves they can (morally, academically, spiritually, physically, etc) - but also involves praying for them. I can do both better. 

3. I know that I am exactly where I need to be in this present moment. 

I'm blanking on where I heard this first, it's either from my Jesuit professor at BC or something lifeteen related... 

There's this idea of "leaning into God's grace," that figuring out our lives is less about searching and striving and constantly freaking out about where I'm supposed to be, etc, and more about doing small things that lead you to where you are called/needed. Making small choices that you feel are right and trusting in the slow work of God is more effective than worrying and making yourself crazy. When we "lean into God's grace" we naturally act more in sync with his plan for our lives. Sort of like the idea of habit. The more you do something and make choices that are in line with your life and vocation, the easier it is to keep on that path. 

I finally feel like I'm in this tide of grace. I feel vocationally called to teaching and the lives of my students and SJP, and this week has been huge confirmation of that. I am obviously too emotional, but I nearly cried when the football team won. Where else can I feel that way and it be okay ;)?