I've been meaning to write this for a while, so here goes.
Last Sunday I needed to absorb some sunshine, and given the state of the yard where my apartment is (see: covered by grape vines and leave, pretty but not conducive to sunlight), decided to head elsewhere. I drove over to Borderland in Easton, hoping for a patch of grass to lay a towel, read and listen to music. Once I got there I realized that I was the only one who was choosing to sunbathe in a field that day, go figure. I chose a spot at the bottom of a little hill, far away from the extended family that was picnic-ing.
I threw out my towel after finding some vaguely flat land, and after a few minutes started to read. I did my best to avoid the whirring and random buzzing of what I assumed to be flies. Well, let's just say I hate flies.
After doing my best to ignore, I couldn't anymore and chose to look around. Mistake. Bees everywhere. They are top 5 in bugs that terrify me. Never been stung before, no idea what it feels like, and what if I'm allergic. Needless to say I spent the next five minutes paranoid, staring at everything that moved, afraid to move to much, too stubborn to give up my afternoon of sunbathing so early.
I eventually lowered myself back down, put on some mellow, wordless music and went back to relaxing - eyes closed this time.
As I felt the heat, a cool breeze blew across me. Perfect timing, exactly what I needed. A simple sign of you're fine. Stop.
My notepad has been getting a lot of random use lately on my iphone, so I pulled it out and had to type what was running through my head.
"Realizing that every breeze is a concentrated gift from God.
Designed to relieve or renew us - whatever we most need.
As I lay sunbathing in a field of clover, terrified to receive my first bee sting, God relieves me with a cool breath-wind."
It was so profound at that moment for me to think that there is a God that determined at that moment - breeze. And it was perfectly, exactly what I needed. God willed it, it happened, it satisfied. How did he know? How did he see me? I didn't ask, how did I receive?
He simply knows my heart, all my needs before they are a word on my tongue, even a thought in my mind. And in that second - he relieved me.
Is it always that simple - desire and fulfillment? No. Sometimes it takes patience, determination, and will. But I like to think that God likes to see us happy, and a surprise along the way does just that.
I walked away an hour later bee-sting-less, a little tanner, and with total piece of mind (thanks to God, a towel, a book, and a little Sigur Ros).
Amen.
